TRAFFIC ON GREEN

Everyday we are being fed with lies

it comes in words..

it comes in food….

it comes in action…..


This time no more. I am standing up for myself.

I am no ordinary person 

for 12 years of my life, i thought I could live life as if nothing happened, hiding all the bad memories in a secret chamber inside my head. But everywhere I went, it followed and lingered inside. and the more I forget, the more it came to destroy me…bit by bit….people always tell me “its gonna be fine, nothing is wrong with you” stupid me, I shouldnt have listened to people. 

I guess thats my problem. My strength is that I am obedient, but my weakness is that I am obedient.

 

Last night, someone complimented me that I look like the olsen twins. I was like “hehe thank you”

Then, Last night I dreamt that the olsen twins had plastic surgery (Rhinoplasty) on their noses. I woke up, checked online that its all true.

LOL I guess thats even more of a compliment, cos they had to get their nose done to be beautiful and I dont have to do anything to my face.

Anyway, I also dreamt that my friend who complimented me, that he’s living the halal and good life. No wonder im so cool with him. His heart is good :-)

 

2 nights ago I was battling with seizure and stroke.I was going under the healing process of cupping by my AUnty, and thats when the real devil inside me started to rise. It was not me but it was me.

 I knew the person crying was not me, but I had no control of my body, I was throwing fits and seizures like a maniac feeling the devil’s excrutiating pain. It was so painful. My aunty knew that there is still me inside my body, so she began reciting the Quran in order to push the devil out.

in the beginning the devil resisted, and began crying ( I was crying, techincally) however, my aunty still continued reciting ignoring it’s cries. and my mouth began to follow (which was very hard, especially when you have a fit at that time) I began reciting “Al-Kausar”

Over and over again.

and my aunty said “Good, Nina, recite some more, FIGHT IT, FIGHT IT. You can do it”

and I began to feel more pain and more pain as I recited, till I was speechless - because by then, My hands were cold. It was dead. paralyzed. All blue and lifeless.

Like, I cannot feel my hands anymore. It was as if they were stuck in the freezer for a long time and it got thawed off.

“a…a…aunty…” I shivered  ”I…I…c-cant f-f-feel m-my hands. It’s s-so c-c-cold”

but though it was was lifeless and numb, I still could feel the pain of having life taken away (just imagine death? )

from then my aunty said “let it be, at least now, that devil has left - and now the real you should subside. Ask Allah for his light. Ask Allah for Nabi Muhammad SAW’s light and his companions’ too. Minta dari Allah. Doa, Nina”

when I doa, I started feeling warmth flowing through my body. it was like I just got resurrected from the dead. I felt for the first time, my 12 year old self just got back. (Because I “died” when I was 12 years old)

“Aunty! Im shining..its soo….. warm” and my aunty smiled going “Alhmdulillah…..syukur ALhamdulillah, you’re back!”

That was the most emotional moment I had with someone. Having my aunty who saved my life after 12 years of torture, emotional and physical abuse. I made a vow to myself that I will help her in the future and protect her if anyone tries to attack her.

Now, typing this, I still cant believe that Im alive. I am in touch with my inner child and inner self and I am more than grateful to serve Allah.

a week ago, my aunt’s face changed into a member of my family (not saying who) and I said “OMG why is your face? what happened? how did? you’re not you”

she said “something is gonna happen to your ______ in 2 weeks time, he/she’s gonna suffer from something”

so is that a warning? apparently on the 31st there’s gonna be a family dinner at my place,  everyone will gather in memoirs of my late grandparents.

however, Tuesday night, there was dinner at my place, went to my parents house and I had a fishy feeling I’ll be attacked, but ate the food there anyway cos im so hungry. and my mum was so weirdly nice - so fishy. then after I finished eating my heartbeat started to rise up, my head became cloudy, my legs were trembling - it was the same chronic pain I had last year

“Nina, please clean up ” my sister said

“My medicine, I need my medicine….dammit she poisoned my food, AGAIN” I thought to myself, so i ran upstairs to swallow my herbs. I felt a bit better, but my body was still trembling and my head was spinning.

I went next door to my aunt’s house and collapsed at her place “Aunty….”

but before I came in my aunty already knew I was gonna get poisoned, so she prepared the stuff for me. I felt better and cooler and said to my aunt “please…heal me tomorrow, Im in so much pain……I cant walk, now, the family dinner thing is still going on, i need to act like nothing happened”


“Understood” said my aunty. but mind you it was hard acting neutral in front of my family, because I knew one of them is the culprit to doing harm - but I didnt stare at her face, scared that id recieve the magic eye. I begged my sis to go home early, so we did. 

The next day I went to my aunt’s house again and collapsed on her couch. My aunty started performing archipuncture on me, but before she punctured one of the needles, she started to feel dizzy and was like “OMG, this is the same  pain you had when you first started coming to me to heal - sampai hati dorang simpan racun atu ah”

“awu aunty…biasalah….rahsia dorang inda mau terbongkar”


so me and my aunt went into a deep sleep while holding a tumeric and we went into a Battlezone against the JInns.

I was there alone facing my enemies, then an arrow appeared in front of me that says “Look up” when I looked up I saw a horde of warrior men who happens to be angels, descending form the sky with their white magistic horses. when they came on land, one of them pulled me up and placed me on their horse, while going to into battle.

I took out my sword from my hand and started slashing the jinns. Right hand slashing. Left hand electricity. I kept using electricity to pick them up and seal them into a bottle, but it took alot of energy out of me. the more electricity I used, the more I get tired. so I stopped using electricity and turned into some sort of Hulk but a furry species and used my arms strength to create an earthquake.

I saw on the ground the ground split open, and the enemies fell inside. I said to Allah “Ya Allah, I think I should use earth powers, because its more cooling and doesnt require alot of energy”

One of my dad’s jinns charged on towards me with an axe, and I just simply took his head and sliced it off with my sword. Another came charging towards me which is my friend’s Jinn - and i was like, “Really? you want to fight me?” and she became scared

I grabbed her by her shirt and said ” Strike 2, but because of surah Al-Asr, I will give you time - Strike 2” and let her go, and she ran away in fright.

The my mum’s jinn came and sliced her head off too. Used my strength to split the ground open again and where the enemies fall in and closed it up. one came attacking from the sky, and I used my electricity again, then I was really really tired. The angel came down and swooped me off and said “enough dont fight anymore, you need energy, drink Coffee radix” and I didnt rebel the angel I just said “Okay, I will”

and I woke up, and drank coffee radix right away. Then I got sooooo HUNGRY, it was as if all my energy was used, like i jsut ran 5 km. I checked the time: Wow….5 hours? Ive been battling for 5 hours no wonder.

but my aunty was still sleeping, which means, she’s still battling and i let her be whil I made a sandwich. and wow…I ate so much, 1 orange, 2 apples, 2 coffee radix, 1 egg sandwich, 1 roselle drink. its like I could eat for 2-3 people.

an hour later, my aunt woke up and she as still in a daze, I said ” is the war over, sleeping beauty?” and she started smiling at me, and replied “wow….so bizaare….im back in earth again”

My aunty stood up and smiled to me, “I was watching you from above, I saw you cut off your dad’s Jinn. How brave” 

and I said “of course, he’s been bugging me since I was young - so its time that he’s out of my life”

That night we talked till 6 am about the battle we had. I was doing more of the asking and it was fun listening to all these true stories from her. I guess you can say it was my first time in the battlezone, yet I was so exhausted - but in compared to my aunt, she still battled using so much techniques. I couldnt keep up with her.

The next day, my friend texted me that she dreamt about me. She said “you wanted to show me something, so you slept for a while, you were about to transform into something, like a creature, but transformation failed. you didnt in the end - you told me that the transformation will be ugly and horrifying”


I just smiled and snickered and told her “I was about to cut your jinn’s head off, but I gave her a chance and let her go - she ran away in fright. Thats why I didnt get to transform in the end”

and she was shocked “Really!???  


and explained the details to her after that and I bet she’s still shocked from now.


but Im so happy because I get to experience true warriorship. the fact that I was battling in order to get my rights back in the name of Allah. That was beautiful


Subahanallah Masyallah Alhamdulillah


Allahumasaliala SaidinaMuhammad

Lahawlaquata ilabillah 

Have many of you heard of mind travel? it where you’re in a deep sleep and your spirit wanders off in other countries BUT for a purpose.

You see, if you have a purpose with you, lets say, you’re having trouble being in a stagnant and quiet room  so you NEED to listen to music. or you’re having girl problems, or family problems and you NEED to listen to music. but deep down inside you want to break  the chain of escaping into wordly desires. you have questions in your head that perplexes you and you really need answers.

I’ve been having those journey for a while now - although my desires are all gone - no desire to impress, no desire to listen to music, no desire to loiter around, no desire to dance, nada, I’ve always had questions about the actions behind all those. Apparently all leads to sexual innuendos.

I had a power nap one day and I travelled to Thailand, Germany, France, England, Japan, Singapore and Korea - and so far I was studying everyone’s lives. Btw you know whats funny? there were subtitles laid out for me too, for me to understand what they’re saying. This bit is highly important cos in order for me to understand what they’re saying, I can know the answers to my problems. Allah is trying to guide and showing me, different examples of every individual’s lives for ME to understand the truth of Islam.

If i were to be a big star celebrity - Id end up like that dude…….

If I were to stay overseas - Id be like this dude…..

but if I were to accept where, who or what I am - I would be like………me

then I zapped into Japan and there was a dude who has abilities just like me (OMG YAY! Im not the only one) who was saying ” Whya re you complaining when this is the way for us? Please accept it, its your only choice”

So I have no choice….


at times I wonder whether it would be kinda cool to go back youtubing again but then I started thinking: Id go back to my old self, which i REALLY HATE because it hurts soooooo damn much.  but the I loved the bit where i get to meet new people and celebs. The again…… I can always do that through my mind telepathy.


There were some days where I got materials all gathered up, and I have super crazy spontaneous things to say, but as soon as I clicked the button to record WOOSH Gone…..  Zoned out. 

It was as if all those creative crazy ideas were taken away by  this one big hand and threw it in the trash.

There were times I caught myself saying something funny on camera, but as soon as im done, the record button wasnt switched on - OR the camera suddenly died by itself. its strange and oh soooo very weird.

Its like someone doesnt want me to post on youtube anymore, then it started to dawn on me that I know who it is. Can you guess? our big boss, the one and only Allah Ta’ala.

So yeah even if I wanted to, there’s always….ALWAYS something that would stop it. though I miss my youtube peeps and viewers, its all a big sacrifice I have to make for something even better than Youtube. 

Because if you were to dissect even 1/4 of my life - you will go crazy. I think it would be quite hard for anyone to digest what im going through, what im seeing, what im feeling. all my stories are unique. If i were to pick any day of my life, its always a story on its own. Like every day is a new episode of Good and evil. And evil is always finding news ways to trick us. Sometimes by the use of strings and puppets, marine animals, animals, wind, sand - sooo many.

Because I have a friend who is 4 years younger than me, and apparently he’s special and gifted just like me, but does not know a single thing about himself and how the world works, how to apply. When I showed him a section of my understanding about himself and me, he couldnt properly digest it, because it was beyond deep.

he accepted what I say, however, it took some time for him to build up an opinion. But then again he was suprised at how I know about his father, his mother’s horrible case, his brother’s short temper and bald head. so he began to believe me more and more as he talked to me.

The minute he went home, he started praying because he was shaken up by what I said. As he prayed there was this ugly Jinn who showed her face and screamed at him.

The next day, he told me about what happened and said ” I was….really scared”

and I smiled and sad “That was only one jinn you saw, just imagine the millions of jinns I see. Dont be scared…dont ever be scared”

And ever since that day, he calmed down. He used to be short tempered too, but from what I understand he doesnt need to be angry anymore because the answers are slowly opening up to him

That was kind of like me from the beginning.



 

If only T.O.P can say this to her.

(Source: )

If only T.O.P can say this to her.

(Source: toptastic-vip)

Okay a friend who i havent seen for 2 weeks have been texting me that her mood has been intensified even though she was done with her PMS. I told her I know she’s been that way - but I wouldnt wanna tell the answers. because in this case, I want her to learn how to handle her own anger, and balance her mood. I cant always be there for her. 

and not long ago a friend was very stressed at home and at work and she burst out into tears telling me all about it, screaming “dont ever tell me to sabar, cos ive been doing that for years” so i kept quiet and said nothing and listened. however, miraculously calmed down after that.

Here’s another big scenario, all the while ive been posting videos on youtube, people always deemed I was weird - i always get fanmails saying “Your weird and annoying, but i dont know why i like you” or “your crazy and weird, but i dont know why i have this strong bond”

all these scenarios add up to one answer. do you wanna know why? because ive been absorbing all your pain. tahts why after watching my videos you guys always felt light and happy. because all that pain you’ve been carrying with you - the weight comes to me.

Right now, I am trying to give it all back to you so you can feel your own pain. if it means waking you up and making you realize what you’ve been doing all this while. SOme of you carry the sins of drinking, some of you carry sins of being in scandals, some of you are gay, some of you are egotistic, some of you are backstabbers, some of you freely have sex, some of you like excess. If you were a Muslim, you will know that all of those are Haram. 

and every haram doing there is a side effect. this is what you’re doing so far, dear. This is why I closed my youtube down. because I dont want to carry your burdens anymore. and no i cant just switch it off, Allah made me this way. This is why Ive been sick for years. This is why there were hysterias in my schools and work places. 

I am the target.

but it doesnt stop there, Jinns and humans want to poison me too. in fact I caught a restaurant trying to poison me when I poured water into a clear glass. and it turned white and tasted different.

however,  that is as far as you’re allowed to know. and I bet this sort of information is already making your brain go haywire right? well just imagine the amount of information I have in my brain that is hard to process let alone accept, but i have to accept anyway. Just imagine, face to face with the angels - how would you feel when you see their faces?

So yes, I carry a very big repsonsibility for mankind. but in this case for me, I love sharing knowledge, because I know how it feels like to be be lost and misguided. so dont worry. be happy